What does it mean to be a Liberal Democrat these days? We wouldn’t know, there’s only about five of them. The wipeout of 2015 pushed their breed deep into endangered status, so much so that their ideological figurehead was driven off into the arms of Mark Zuckerberg, never to be seen on our shores again. The Tim Farron era was a big nothing; the age of Jo Swinson even more inconsequential. Literally nobody in the world knows the sound of Ed Davey’s voice, and only a precious few can recognise his face, recalling from the backs of their mind that he looks like a giant baby that’s been artificially grown-up by Hollywood CGI.
In short, the Lib Dem brand is dead as disco, and where there’s crisis, there is opportunity. With ample money to be made in brand consultancy, we’re pitching to the Liberal Democrats about their options for rejuvenation: a cornucopia of policy stances, rhetorical styles and bold new aesthetics, drawn from their sister parties from all around the world – all of whom are also called the Liberal Democrats.
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Liberal Democratic Party (Japan)
Logo: A big, nice flower on a burgundy background.
Ideology: Hard-right Japanese nationalism.
Summary: While it would be unusual for the British Lib Dems to campaign on revising the Japanese constitution to eliminate its post-war commitment to pacifism, you have to say that their sister party in Tokyo could have a thing to teach them about winning elections. The LDP have been so relentless in their grip over Japanese politics that they have only been out of power for four of their 68 years in existence. Better yet, they are – or were – the party of the great Shinzo Abe: statesman, leader and long-time friend of The Fence. If they’re serious about power, you’d hope that our Liberal Democrats would turn eastwards and commit to the land and sea war with China that the Japanese electorate so eagerly wants to see.
Brand synergy: 4/10
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