this is me e.g. nigel molesworth, the curse of st custards, the GOAT of 3B etc. etc.
here are my grate thorts about skool in the year 2026 were we are fed brain rot and Ls. I nigel molesworth struggel thru, keeping my aura intact.
my grate frend is peason. he spend his days mewing and dreaming of becumming the clavicular of the home counties. but he is not so bad and his tiktok game is flex. he have an unboxing chanel with 472 followers only sum of which is pedos.
much worse is the zestiest boy in skool, fotherington thomas who has an L every day and give me the ick. he go around talking about skincare and palestine and how he is boycoting roblox yawn yawn. he is wet and a weed and is completly chopped.
there is also molesworth 2, whu i regret to say shares blud with me. i suspect he is a chud as he was an i-pad kid wen younger and now he hav spent so much time online he has gone delulu.
grabber is a nepo baby who is hed of the skool. there is a rumor that his mater is the hawk tuah gerl but he is a sigma and looksmaxxes so i must be carful wat i say.
Advice to new kids on how not to be a wet and a weed
if you want to avoid becumming like fotherington thomas who is no-gucci then you are best folowing this advice:
avoiding lessons
st custards hav a grate new policy which says any1 can take a ‘metal health day’ wen they are feeling a bit down. it is best to coincide this with a maths test or sumthing similarly aura sapping. hav to be carful tho not to use it to many times or you will get caught in 4k and self-mog and be sent away incase you unalive yurself.
social media
as any fule kno the reel world is online. it is a gud way to build up oomfs. best to stic to tiktok or putting gaming vids online. jestermaxxing hits different but is only to be atempted if u can produce gems and clapbacks al the time like what i can.
gerls
obviously you dont want to end up lik molesworth 2 and be a incel but you lowkenuinely dont want to look like you have creepy rizz. it is best to let the baddies (gerls) come to you.
Deeling with Grown Ups; How to make money fast (for tuck)
one of the only purposes of grown ups is to make money from them. this requires different tactiks depending on the grown up. first you must no what not to do. approaching your pater will be hardest as he is old and sad and hate everything that does not pay him. see below.
at the dinner table
MOLESWORTH: oh, pater, my exam results conain no fs. may i have sum meme coin?
PATER: well done enough, boy, but nothing more than it is expected of thee. ask again when the birth of our lord and saviour neereth.
MOLESWORTH: why do you not buy flights to turkey when you are so short and bald and gormless u old fule. if you won’t give me money at least kno how to use your own.
Shouts and scuffles followed by sound of heavy beating with the cane
instead play to the fule’s weakness and mak him feel nostalgic for his yoof (do not sa that this woz in jurassik period chiz chiz)
in an idle sunday hour
PATER: would you like to spend some time together son? we could play mario kart together, why not?
MOLESWORTH: oh pater yes i wud love to play the slop game u used to play bac in the days of jurassic park with you even tho its graphics are mid and no1 has played it since 9/11.
generally, it is smarter to approach the mater, who is kinder and must sufer thru the pater’s nonsense too.
MOLESWORTH: mater! mater! i fel awful sik
MATER: oh, no dearest! are you feeling too bad to attend the christening for aunt mildred’s fourth cockapoo?
MOLESWORTH: yes mater i am feeling sad today. no i cant go outside. it is lik what you red on mumsnet. 50 £ amazon voucher wud help. better mak it 100 just to be shure. etc.
Know Thy Enemy – How to Deal with Masters
all masters are uncs as any fule kno. they only become masters wen they realise their lives ar cooked and they hav no rizz left. they are selling at life and so tak it out on us, tho they always hav one or 2 pick mes who they like for sum reson. enventually the master wil be sacked for messaging a pick me on ther privat instagram ho ho.
the worst masters becum hedmasters and end up appering on podcasts talking about ‘wat inspired me’ and other such cringe. they want to ban fones and becum role models or members of the house of lords. they are not to be trusted 1 bit.
