‘I’m apprehensive about becoming a dedicated cruising correspondent,’ I messaged this publication’s editor, when he asked for another dispatch from London’s queer scene. ‘But wouldn’t it be very funny to do something on Vault 139, which is a sex club near Warren Street?’
‘Yes, please,’ he replied. ‘YES, PLEASE.’
There was only one modification: that I use the visit to ask my fellow sex club patrons how they intend to vote, at the forthcoming general election.
Vault’s only street frontage, just off Tottenham Court Road, is a door which is squeezed on either side by the offices of a visa services company. Its signs give no clue as to what patrons can expect inside, but the steep descent down a dark stairwell to an electronically bolted door appears to be enough to stop punters roaming in from the nearby Slug & Lettuce.
On the Thursday I visited, the queue ran up the stairs and out onto the street. Those lining up stood politely and a little nervously, as though waiting to clear immigration at the airport. The only indication as to what awaited was a heady chlorine-tinged heat rising up the steps.
Entry to Vault is £12 and includes coat check, unlimited day re-entry and a drink. The card machine on the door doesn’t work with Monzo, but they do have a loyalty app: five visits and your sixth is free.
The premises are laid out in the shape of a hollow rectangle, with the core hosting the stairwell, staff office and bathroom, and the action flowing around them through zones partitioned with chain curtains.
Thursday is naked night at Vault and the busiest night of the week. Nudity is not optional: once you’re buzzed into the bar, you are handed a collapsible crate and shepherded to a side room where you strip down to your shoes. You trade your crate for a numbered wristband, your entry receipt for a drink… and you’re off. Alcohol options are a 440ml tinny – I saw Kronenbourg, Thatchers Gold and John Smith’s on offer – a single-measure spirit-based drink or an alcopop. The bar also offers free packets of lube and condoms, not that the latter are used much, and sells poppers in two or three varietals.
