Getting naked at the UK seaside is a brave thing to do. The weather, raw sewage and innately judgemental attitude of the Great British Public all make the prospect of relaxing as nature intended seem, well, not very relaxing at all. Still, there are people who do it and designated areas for them to do so. If you are brave enough to consider letting it all hang out, The Fence is delighted to provide this guide to the Naturist Beaches of Britain, according to the people who really, really didn’t enjoy being on them.
Starting on the south coast where, one would imagine, nude-friendly weather is most prevalent, we begin with the Eastney Naturist Beach near Portsmouth. Google Reviews for the site by a local guide describe it as being:
‘On the edge of a disused military firing range,
it is grim and uninviting. Concrete and rocks
do not look comfy. Wind-blasted sunbathers
look equally grim.’
Part of the point of nude beaches is that they are far from the amenities we associate with conurbation. At Eastney, this has created its own problems for one Janet Wilson:
‘Not enough bins.’
Further along the coast, on a spit just past Bournemouth, lies the exceptionally named ‘Studland’. Some users remark on its picturesque nature, such as ‘Captain Andy’, who remarked that he had:
‘Given it one star because I don’t want
people to find out it’s beautiful.’
Others don’t quite agree with the Captain’s analysis of Studland. There is a problem at this particular nudist beach, indeed, at lots of them. The people.
