In 2002, the BBC broadcast a controversial television poll ranking the 100 Greatest Britons in history – it sparked a lot of discourse we can’t be bothered to get into now. We’re just going to judge whether these Great Britons would be great value in the most singularly British of all establishments: the pub.
winston churchill
Yes, if you could put up with him talking about himself or the empire all night. Which we could, but only once – and mainly for the pints of Champagne.
isambard kingdom brunel
A tentative yes from us: good for quizzes as he is the answer to quite a lot of questions.
diana, princess of wales
If you like sauvignon blanc and don’t mind her crying, sure thing. But just don’t get in her Uber afterwards.
charles darwin
Beware of anyone in the pub who begins a sentence: ‘I’ve got this theory, right, about monkeys’.
william shakespeare
Likely to whine about how many sexually transmitted diseases he has after a few drinks, then start riffing with some truly baffling innuendo. He’d get bard.
sir isaac newton
We don’t know, have you ever had a good pint with a mathematician?
queen elizabeth i of england
Would declare that she has the ‘body of a weak and feeble woman’ then down a pint of Carling to prove she could, and then spew chunks over the table.
