There is an etiquette to streaking. Firstly, no funerals. In 1997, a journalist asked Mark Roberts, the world’s most prolific streaker, to jump naked in front of Princess Diana’s coffin. ‘Do you think I’m a dickhead?’ he replied.
That said, with 573 streaks across 30 years under his metaphorical belt and no plans to retire, Roberts is determined to leave this world as he spent his time in it – naked in public. His will dictates that he be buried unshrouded in a clear Perspex box, a Viagra administered so he can ‘go out in style’. Rigor mortis may work in his favour.
But Mark Roberts has had an active life. He somersaulted naked over the net at the 2002 Wimbledon men’s final. He arrived at the 2006 Winter Olympics ‘dressed’ as a cleaner, wearing just marigold gloves on his hands, clothes pegs on his ears, a knotted handkerchief on his head and a rubber chicken on his ‘little fella’. He ran past Tiger Woods at the 2006 Open Golf Championship with a toy squirrel over his genitals and a golf ball perched between his buttocks. He carried a patron around a pub on his back – both of them nude – as a birthday treat for the surprisingly well-endowed sexagenarian (‘I said “Fred, fuck off, I’m not running around with you with that”’) until a tumble landed the pensioner in A&E.
Heroic tales of unclothed exploits abound, distinguished by devotees’ ingenuity. In 2021, Olmo Garcia, ‘The Naked Man of Granada’, hid in a stadium for 14 hours to enter a football match. In 2003, Roberts reached the racetrack at Royal Ascot disguised as a woman, complete with bra. He invaded 2004’s Super Bowl by writing to the NFL for a referee’s uniform under the pretence of starting a British team. Wearing it, re-stitched with Velcro, under his regular clothes, also re-stitched with Velcro, he told security that a skin disorder requiring ointment meant he had to wear detachable garments and the refereeing garb was for luck. The uniform did, however, make players think an actual referee was riverdancing naked and the streak itself was overshadowed by Janet Jackson’s own wardrobe malfunction that night. (Roberts was not the only one favouring detachable clothes).
Erika Roe stresses that her infamous 1982 topless run at Twickenham Stadium was wholly spontaneous, and sparked by someone in the crowd mentioning streaking. ‘If I’d thought about it for a few seconds later, I wouldn’t have done it’, she reflects, ‘I just did something crazy 40-odd years ago that put me on the front page because it was a cold day and it made everybody laugh’.
Streakers stress that they differ from flashers and senders of unsolicited nudes. While all expose themselves publicly and indeed unexpectedly, the streaker maintains distance and seeks to entertain, not intimidate. ‘It’s got to be fun,’ Roberts says, ‘streaking is one moment of being daft, being as free as you’ll ever be’. Asked by police why he stripped at the Super Bowl, he replied: ‘I wanted to make the great people of America laugh’. For someone who became famous through an act of public nudity, Roe describes herself as ‘shy, introverted, private and Victorian about sex and jokes’. She tells me: ‘It’s just a frivolous thing that people do, it’s a moment of fun. I don’t think it’s attached to sex much, it’s much lighter than that. I like things to be a bit clean and I think my streak was clean and fun, it was just a moment of daftness.’
In 1974, when Michael O’Brien ran naked onto the pitch during a rugby match, he inaugurated an era in which it was seemingly difficult to attend an event without someone using it for a prolonged nude jog. Such festivities could even influence proceedings. Australian football club Richmond lost 1982’s Grand Final after Helen d’Amico appeared wearing only a scarf. Richmond did not reach another Grand Final until 2017 when d’Amico generously burnt the garment on television to exorcise the ‘curse’.
So why quit? The risk of a penalty may be on the would-be enthusiast’s mind. After Ian Power streaked at Anfield in 1995 aged 17, Liverpool players visited the cell to sign his charge sheet. However, other streakers have suffered more stringent punishments and found themselves on the sex offenders register following charges of indecent exposure. Roberts has often successfully battled charges of causing harassment, alarm or distress to the public by showing courts footage of cheering crowds. He has debated ‘playing with the law’ by wearing a plastic replica of his genitalia.
