Dear Readers,
Good evening, happy new year and welcome back to Off The Fence – a newsletter that functions exactly as it ought to. We are pealing the bells of 2026 with exultant joy, since The Fence’s Fighting Fund has passed its target sum of £25,000. Our deepest thanks to every single one of you who chipped in, shared the link and supported our efforts – more soon on what comes next, for us and for the winners of our prize draw.
On that: we’re taking our foot off the promo pedal for a short while, and getting back to serious business; that is, spurious gossip and YouTube ephemera.
That said, if you want to get your hands on some print, we also deal in that trade. Tap the button below and sign up today – do it now, and you won’t have to do a thing for the rest of the year.
The battle for the fizz has seen its opening moves with some fascinating pictures. A beautifully topped stack gently framed by a frond; definitive proof that the absolute need to read The Fence is not just human, it’s innate to all life; Lynchian journeys to Skegness; and making the list of required readings to understand the year to come. Keep. Them. Coming. You can either tag us on socials or wing them through to editorial@the-fence.com.
Right then, let’s start throwing salt around the sumo ring – we’re about to begin. In this week’s missive, we’re going to tell you something new about a long-running saga in the history of British intelligence.
Filet au Poivre
Many of you will be familiar with this tale, but some of you might now be. Operation Kenova is a years-long investigation into the high-level double-agent in the IRA, Stakeknife, a west Belfast man called Freddie Scappaticci. ‘Scap’, as he was known by his republican comrades, has been linked to 14 murders and 15 abductions during the Troubles. But were British forces savvy to their agent’s homicidal activities? What’s happened to the ‘FRU’, the Force Research Unit, the secretive unit that ran Scappaticci? Unsurprisingly, the report contains little new information. But here’s one interesting nugget we’ve dug up from the internet… well, from an unbelievably detailed article from last year, published by Sean Rayment in the Daily Telegraph.
It outlines how the FRU has been rebranded as the ‘DHU’, the Defence Human Intelligence unit, and that they still maintain the same trident insignia and the same motto: ‘Piscatores Hominum’, which translates from Latin as ‘fishers of men’.
Speaking to sources in the defence world, we learn that they still have a tarmacked shooting range for practising vehicle ambush drills at their base, Chicksands, which envelops a 12th-century Gilbertine monastery. But their scholastic environs are proving less than inspirational: we hear that much of the intelligence they obtain is graded ‘F6’, the lowest possible ranking.
Boston Kickout
Interesting news from the Lincolnshire Fens, where the family-owned farming company, Staples, has been bought out by an American investment firm, Solum Partners. For a low-tier agribusiness, Staples has had an outsized role in recent British history. In 2014, they attracted national attention for declaring that they were compelled to build a caravan park to house students from Romania and Bulgaria, as local workers were ‘too lazy’. Of course, no journalists investigated the veracity of Staples’ assertions, with notable political consequences two years later. So what’s a company like Solum Partners doing in the Brexit heartlands? And what does their capital mean, or at least signify, with regards to the state of British farming? There’s definitely a story here.
You’re Not Sending Us Your Best
We are open for pitches for 2026, for Issue 27 (kinda neat?) and beyond. We are open in all sections for the magazine, so please do have a read of the pitch guide here before sending something through. There is also a shiny new separate pitch guide for Capital Letter – if you’re a first-time writer, this is a decent opportunity to get your TF byline. CL is moving weekly soon, so there are new and exciting opportunities on the horizon.
Choo-Choo-Cha-Boogie
It is, you will admit, genuinely amazing that parts of the Tube are now more than 160 years old. And it’s been the bicentennial of the locomotive too, would you believe it. Dan Richards travelled to County Durham to ride George Stephenson’s magic machine. All of this talk of technological marvels begs the question: how will people celebrate the 200th anniversary of the launch of the iPhone? Thankfully, none of us will be around to see it.
Adios, Presidente!
The unavoidable and frankly incomprehensible news has, of course, been Donald Trump’s dramatic capture of the President of Venezuela, Nicolás Maduro. Even for Trump, it’s a mesmeric act of aggression that has left everyone feeling like a schoolchild who’s just had their favourite rubber confiscated by a drunk, angry substitute teacher. He can’t just do that, can he? Well… yes he can. It turns out the international rules-based order really doesn’t mean much when you have all the guns and money.
But the whole affair has also been hard to comprehend because the picture in Venezuela is hard to square neatly. A lot of Venezuelans seem pretty pleased about Maduro’s departure because he was (is?) a pretty brutal authoritarian who has presided over periods of food shortages, political repression and economic chaos. At the same time, a lot of others are more concerned with the idea that the US is going to come and ‘run’ Venezuela, knowing full well that they are the most oil-rich country in the world with potentially huge in-ground gold reserves. It’s one of those ‘complex’ situations, with much yet to unpick, as recent pieces on the Bank of England’s involvement suggest.
And then there’s the fact that Maduro is just hard to take seriously. The videos of him dancing to a remix of his own voice blaring out ‘No War, Yes Peace’ are just ridiculous. Indeed, the man has long been fond of a song and a dance, even launching into a brief rendition of John Lennon’s Imaginein an effort to cool the tensions with Trump.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_I4U0ff_ek
It was, to say the least, a blunder, as per the Telegraph (quoting the 47th President, who said this minutes ago on stage at the Kennedy Center) this cavorting was the very thing that convinced Trump and his renamed Secretary of War to go and nab him. Apparently they saw it as a form of mockery.
His capture is a bizarre end (again, we have to add ?) to Maduro’s career, which has included many bizarre moments. Many of these came early on when he was attempting to make his name in the shadow of Hugo Chávez, a more powerful and charismatic man. This disparity led to bizarre moments such as this group interview where Maduro claimed that Chávez had been reincarnated in the body of a small bird, and had visited him in prayer. He claimed the bird had circled his head three times before blessing him. Suuuuure he did, buddy! There was also an infamous blunder where, during severe food shortages in Venezuela, Maduro was caught chowing down on an empanada when he thought the cameras were no longer on.
Unfortunately, even in antics, Maduro was always going to be second to El Comandante. Chávez was the first to hit dance moves in public, to a much more adoring crowd. And, even better, Chávez ran his own personal chat show called Aló Presidente that ran for an immense 384 episodes. It included everything from prize giveaways, musical numbers, sudden announcements of economic stimulus packages and anti-capitalist rants. It was broadcasted on every available channel. There’s just no following an act like that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6m-ii2-RW6w
The Laughing Gnome
Kudos to Alexander Larman, whose book on David Bowie, Lazarus, has been rapturously reviewed in the broadsheets. It focuses exclusively on the second half of the Starman’s career, offering a thrilling insight into the crescendo of his life, and features a lot of unreported details and juicy interviews. You can buy a copy here.
Foxes in the Garden
There’s been an upswing in outstanding programming from venerable broadcasters lately, with the seemingly immortal David Attenborough dropping his latest offering, Wild London, at the age of 99, and very fine too. He’s joined by his fellow David – Dimbleby – who is just 12 years younger but still spry as ever, and now looking somewhat like a malevolent koala. His three-parter on the future of monarchy does drag on a bit, but the first episode is one of the best things the BBC have done in some time, bombastic, hilarious and with cameo appearances from most of the major players in the British body politic this century. Do treat yourself here.
No Spot for Noel Edmonds
Sometimes, lists are just right – see our definitive ranking of the ceremonial counties of England for evidence, or the BBC’s best films of the 21st century. And so it is with the New Statesman’s countdown of the 25 Brits who have defined the century so far, a listicle that sings with exactitude – though we might have made space for Denise Coates or General Graeme Lamb at the bottom end.
Gay Talese Was Unavailable
With the domination of video podcasts, you don’t really hear the insult ‘a face for radio’ anymore. But if there ever was a figure to remind the public of the benefits of an audio-only format, it’s the Calpol-coloured countenance of Mr Blobby, the focus of comedian Josh Widdicombe’s new podcast.
‘The Rise and Fall of Mr Blobby and Noel Edmonds’ peels back the pink-and-yellow plastic of the cult 90s character – a feat readers might remember Tom Nicholson first accomplished in Issue 14, with Mr Blobby Has A Cold. Indeed, Widdicombe includes Blobby-lore first divulged in these pages in 2023, such as the sacks of fan mail the BBC received on their primetime star’s behalf. Since then, Blobby has taken the natural trajectory of a TF subject, gracingGQ’s October cover as a ‘British icon’ and featuring in the video for Olly Murs’ admirable bid at a Christmas hit.
The Minisphere
Photos of dogs. On Holidays. Ideal Sunday. The fixtures of a perfectly impersonal dating app profile are well-documented. But it has come to our attention that twenty-something romantic hopefuls are also using ‘the apps’ to advance Gen Z’s literary capabilities. In what is perhaps an over-literal interpretation of the term ‘game’, it is now commonplace for profiles on Hinge and the like to use the New York Times’ Mini crossword in an attempt to secure a date. ‘My greatest achievement,’ is followed by a screenshot of a 15-second completed crossword. ‘Together we could…’ another teases, ‘Play the Mini.’ At least the harbingers of the purported death of sex will be articulate.
In Case You Missed It
Pure, unfiltered, Peter Hitchens. Just what you expect from us.
This half-finished deleted scene from the first Avatar captures the feeling of the new year’s onset.
Take a look at the British birds jetsetting on Emirati passports. Actual birds – we’re not going all FHM here, don’t worry.
Molly Parkin’s obituary is the most astonishing and devastating thing you’ll read all week.
We can’t think of an English-speaking city less likely to embrace pub culture than New Orleans, but this place looks absolutely fantastic. Look at the details!
Our FAVOURITE new Instagram freak – if anyone has any info on him and his antics do let us know.
Michael Waters on Joan Lowell, the Caroline Calloway of Golden Age Hollywood.
And Finally
It’s a new year, snow has started to fall and recent events haven’t given us the rosiest start to 2026. Increasingly we are feeling cold and not quite as cosy in the eerie quiet left in the wake of the dying festive din. Into this vacuum, we offer a tip: nothing but nothing helps to counteract January’s disquieting effect than playing the sunniest music you can possibly think of. Christmas is the time of leaning in, the new year is the time to lean away, hard.
But this needn’t be punitive; there is something rather enjoyable about revelling in the contrast between the mood of your music and your climatic environs. Are you taking a freezing walk to a shop? No, you feel like a Somali cab driver rolling down a hot highway. Has your boiler broken? Don’t be silly, you’re at an asada in Chihuahua and the aunties have grabbed the aux. Sick of the Christmas music? Have some of these beans.
What all of these songs have in common is the beautiful pairing of non-western musical traditions with synths, autotune and other modern tech. There’s a lot to pick from here. Charanjit Singh’sTen Ragas To A Disco Beatsprings to mind, and indeed, there is a rather good NTS show called Autotune the World dedicated to this sort of thing. But perhaps the most interesting figure is Francis Bebey, whose albumAfrican Electronic Musicis truly exceptional.
There doesn’t seem to be much dispute that Bebey really was the first African musician to put drum machines and the synths at the heart of his traditionally rooted music. He was born in Cameroon but spent considerable time in France and also in Ghana at the request of none other than Kwame Nkrumah, the country’s liberation figure. He was also a prolific poet and author and spent a lot of time researching all forms of traditional African music, particularly pygmy music. That’s where this wonderful clip comes from of him explaining the N’dehou,a one-note flute he helped to popularise, and which most famously was mimicked on Herbie Hancock’s Watermelon Man with the use of beer bottles.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6T6suvnhco
Beautiful music and solid wisdom, not least the reminder that there is some incredibly beautiful pygmy music, such as this polyphonic song from the Mbuti Pygmies of the Congo. If that took your fancy, pretty much the only other video of Bebey on the ‘tube is this rather nice performance of his song Esok Am, using the mbira.
Finally, it would be remiss of us to bring up all this flute playing without paying our respects to the late great Hermeto Pascoal, the undisputed king of going absolutely crazy on the flute in ways you’re not supposed to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZbfNtDCHdM
Deep breaths everyone, you are a lily floating gently down the river.
As we dust the grime from our toiling hands, brows moistened and cheeks flushed, we declare: ‘All done’ – first of the year and all that. If you are still awaiting your precious copy of the magazine, then contact support@the-fence.com and we will ensure you get your paper. The sound of Godzilla’s roar was created by rubbing a leather glove coated in pine tar against the strings of a double bass. Until next week.
All the best,
TF