Dear Readers,
Good afternoon and welcome back to Off The Fence, the UK's most autumnal newsletter. October is here and we are hard at work in Soho, hunched over our iced pumpkin spice lattes as we lick the stamps on every last copy of Issue 21: OUT NOW.
By the end of this week it will be either on your doorstep, crisply packaged, or sitting pride of place in all major retailers, and we are very excited indeed for you to see it. If you have yet to sign up for the doorstep option, then we are sorry, but it's too late for this week’s drop-off. To avoid the soul-crushing regret you are no doubt experiencing right now, why not sign up now for future issues?
Click this big red button, and in return we will deliver you four issues over the next year for just £29.99. Ambassador, you spoil us!
Before that though, it's gonna be a stellar few weeks of juicy pieces from our new issue. If your appetite has not been sated by our first sneak peeks – a profile of the Buddha of Siberia, Evgeny Lebedev, by Miles Ellingham and Cormac Kehoe, and an election-themed sex club dispatch from Bron Maher – then soon, we'll be stuffing you full of clerical terror, Hackney crime sprees and soulless influencers.
Later this week we'll be dropping our next piece, the story of a memorable meal by little-known Irish novelist John Banville. But before all that, a very brief dip into the fetid pool of Tory party conference.
We Tried to Warn You
Somewhat incredibly, this is the 200th edition of Off The Fence – but we didn’t want to shout about it, it’s a little undignified once you cross over into three figures. We do, however, want to indulge in a little bit of self-back-patting for the lingering bits of gossip we’ve dredged up in past newsletters. In particular, one little insider dispatch on Kemi Badenoch, darling of the Conservative party membership (derogatory), and putative future PM, in Off The Fence #75 from July 2022.
Running through Badenoch’s brief spell as digital director at The Spectator, we heard the Tory leadership candidate described by one source as ‘unbelievably crap’, citing her bizarre mid-meeting non-sequiturs and boasts of ironclad right-wing credentials. Badenoch’s brief, little discussed spell at the Speccy made a brief appearance in the national discourse this week, owing to Badenoch’s resignation from the magazine upon her pregnancy, a move that former editor Fraser Nelson describes as something ‘she would have been within her rights not to have done’. A clipped quote that perhaps he can expand upon, now that he is out of Old Queen Street (and replaced by a former Badenoch booster, no less).
Anyway, she won’t win, but who will? Robert Jenrick, apparently; a candidate that senior Tories are already predicting the downfall of, pointing to long-term murmurings around Jenrick’s, ahem, connections. We’ve asked around for more shreds of intel about the likely-next Leader of the Opposition, and have been told to monitor the presence of Aussie spin doctor Isaac Levido and Sunak bosom-buddy James Forsyth in Jenrick’s inner circle.
Duck for Cover
We’ve been desperate to share the Issue 21 cover for what feels like forever: a Paul Cox masterclass, depicting Evgeny Lebedev’s pet wolf, Boris (named for Yeltsin, not Boris) menacing the dinner table at his Umbrian palazzo. Eagle-eyed readers might pick a few of the diners out from the text – see who you can spot.
We have also used this issue’s cover to demonstrate some radical accountability, with an apology we really ought to have made sooner. Over the last few months, we have repeatedly – repeatedly – pointed out the facial similarities between media baron Rylan Clark, and light entertainment personality Evgeny Lebedev. This was not and has never been ‘on’, and we want to put a stop to it here and now. So we have.
Stack Overflow
Our last issue was the first to be syndicated through magazine subscription service Stack, throwing thousands of new eyeballs on our beauteous Issue #20. The responses we received have been overwhelmingly, even humblingly, positive, so we were delighted to get in the studio with Stack supremo Steven Watson to talk about all things Fence this week.
https://player.vimeo.com/video/1014409659?autoplay=0
Taking the mantle this time was our redoubtable deputy editor, Kieran Morris, who is too much of a moral coward to speak about himself in the third person and so has left this task to a lowly subordinate now forced to say how well he did. Thankfully, Kieran acquits himself with aplomb, dropping a metric tonne of behind-the-scenes nuggets that should satisfy even the most craven and repulsive Fence nerd reading this write-up. Thanks to Steven for having us – and if you are one of the many Fence readers to have come aboard through this co-operation, do get in touch.
In Case You Missed It
Ana Kinsella writes a stirring ode to Irish butter, for Vittles.
Newsweek’s Marni Rose McFall explores the rise of the conservative hot girl.
At the Cut, EJ Dickson asks why men comment on p*rn sites in the first place.
Ed Zitron reveals the subprime crisis underlying the AI hype machine.
And, in bizarrely unheralded news, the BBC has put its entire sound effects archive online for free.
And Finally
We are, famously, an easy target when it comes to old BBC Archive material. We’re also die-hard fans of the world’s greatest comic, Viz. So we’re delighted to fold these two passions together like so much crinkled blotting paper to bring you this delightful slice of 1981 – when the BBC’s Something Else profiled the self-proclaimed rude kids making a splash from an upstairs bedroom in Jesmond, Newcastle.
Speaking on camera are Viz’s founders, Chris & Simon Donald and Jim Brownlow, sporting a tidal wave of dubious hair and low-key charisma, telling the story of how the comic came about, and eloquently articulating their mission statement.
‘Making life a better thing to live’ would seem quite lofty for any publication, but ranks as understatement for the organ which gave us ‘Black Bag: The Faithful Border Bin Liner’, ‘The Pointless C*nt of St Bridget’s’ and ‘The Rotating Chin Men’.
But our number one takeaway from seeing these youthful iconoclasts striking out at the world from an upstairs bedroom in 1981? How much their workspace looks nicer, and more professional, than our own does, 43 years later. Truly, something to aspire toward.
Well, readers, as the final squeeze of the Colgate of Time inches itself onto the limp bristles of the aged toothbrush of eternity and as the Listerine of fate circles down the plughole of destiny, it’s time to say farewell. Please do be in touch – send us gags, send us moans, send us pictures of your pets. All and sundry to support@the-fence.com please. Have a stunning week and, if you haven’t already, subscribe to the mag, which is a trillion times better in print.
All the best,
TF