Dear Readers,
Good evening, and robust salutations on this most Tuesday of Tuesdays, and welcome to another probe from Off The Fence, the UK’s only newsletter from the beeping, bleeding hive mind behind The UK’s Only Magazine. There are now over six thousand of you reading this mail-out who are yet to sign up for the print magazine – if you would like to correct your moral transgression, you can do so here. We’re delighted to see many photos of Issue 16 out in the wild – Mark Blacklock (on whom more later) snapped the mag taking in the vibe at York Station, which is, as we all know, a pretty spectacular railway terminus. Keep sending the snaps in, and we’ll keep sharing them.
If you’d like to speak to us about an order, please email subscriptions@the-fence.com and we will attend to you. Today, we’ve got some bits on Parky, Keith Floyd and John Betjeman, but first, let’s celebrate an Adonis.
I Need To Return Some Videotapes
What with running this media operation and attending to the various admin tasks that come with it, there’s less time for our hard-working editorial team to piss around on the internet and find amusing little nuggets for your delectation. However, one of our staffers found themselves perusing the staff list for Carignac Asset Management, and was struck by Cupid’s arrow at the sight of Malte Heininger, a fund manager on their European equity team.
A preemptory Google reveals that Malte has previously modelled, but the promised photos of him advertising linen shirts for Versace with Halle Berry have sadly been removed from the internet, no doubt by Heininger’s stern employers - no doubt sick of being asked whether he was, so to speak, a single Malte?
Some of you may recall Your Barrister Boyfriend, a genuinely very amusing Tumblr account run by two American women that listed London’s most luscious silks, and did, among things, introduce the world to Amal Alamuddin, as she then was – suggesting that George Clooney himself may have, like the rest of us, been pissing around on the internet.
But what of other neglected white collar professions? Where is the loving repository of comely capitalists and toothsome tycoons? If you know a financier as fetching as Malte, we’re putting down our Puritan pretenses and asking to be blessed by beauty.
The Headmaster Will See You Now
Every year, Brampton Manor Academy, a school in Newham, achieves a set of A Level results that have the headline writers striving for superlatives – they now regularly beat Eton for Oxbridge entry. But while the students deserve every prize they’ve earned, what about the school itself and its teaching methods? Francis Martin’s outstanding investigation into Boris Johnson’s favourite state school always merits another re-read.
At His Majesty’s Pleasure
For the coronation of King Charles, our pints correspondent, Jimmy McIntosh, took a trip to Dorset, to visit Poundbury – the Potemkin village beloved by internet edgelords and Quinlan Terry fanboys. What was the vibe like? Uncanny! That’s it in one. Jimmy’s piece has now been highlighted by Longreads, which is really something of an accolade considering it’s less than 1900 words (more of a medium read, then). Anyway, it’s a brilliant piece that you can nurse over an evening pint here.
Brian Smellhorn And The Bleepatrons
Jade Angeles Fitton used to rock out on the Devon punk scene, before selling out to become a writer. But did she sell out? And what does that really mean, these days? And what did that phrase ever mean, really? It’s a lovely little feature, and has a great cameo from a Ramone in a Pontins chalet.
At Queen Ethelburga’s
Longtime readers of this mail-out will know that we were very keen to see Mark Blacklock’s deep dive into Brian Martin reach the national press. If you can’t quite remember the story, it’s like something from a nightmare – a Yorkshire businessman bought a private school and moved it into his own home, abusing the students all the while. Thankfully, the story was picked by the Times, and has now Mark has written another piece on Queen Ethelburga’s for the Telegraph magazine, which has new, ghastly revelations within. We’re really pleased to see Mark’s tireless journalism – which he executed, unpaid, over a period of years – make an impact.
Rich Garlands
And, while we’re at it, we’re pretty pleased that so many of our pieces are being picked up by leading publications. We’re not really into blowing our trumpet, but it’s a pretty stellar track record, and all with only one full-time member of staff. If you’re one of the many editors who loot our pages for inspiration, or you’re just an average type of guy/gal who likes what we’re doing, then please do subscribe for the year – it just starts at just £14.99, and we can keep bringing you exciting, original journalism, packaged beautifully, at a cut-price cost. Sign up today and help build The Fence.
Where’s Chegwin?
Last week we briefly celebrated Marco Pierre White, Leeds’ finest. Now, let’s shine a light on an inspired piece of commissioning work, in which Keith Allen interviews Keith Floyd, just prior to the chef’s death. It’s a fantastically funny documentary, and it’s worth starting exactly here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2uy9Dm3LRc
In Case You Missed It
Friend of the Fence, Clive Martin discusses the appeal and telly output of national treasure/oddity Tyson Fury.
Staying with Fencely friends, Róisín Lanigan explores the allure and legacy of the ‘Cool Girl’.
Amanda Moore spent nine months undercover in America’s growing, and increasingly well-connected far right ecosystem.
Ronan Farrow investigates why universally derided tech-dunce Elon Musk remains a vital cog in the US Defense Department’s information machine.
Following his earlier post on the same theme from March, US electoral wonk Ettingermentum offers a second helping of stats confirming that transphobic policies continue to have an absurdly abysmal electoral record.
And Finally
With the passing of Michael Parkinson came a volley of stirring tributes to the broadcaster, interviewer and all-round kindly media uncle that defined a certain strain of the Beeb’s wild late-twentieth century remit of public interest and light entertainment programming.
Peter Hain saluted Parkinson’s radical anti-racism as both a sports reporter and presenter. Quentin Falk wrote a particularly charming letter about the time he interviewed Oliver Reed for LBC, whereupon the latter began to take his trousers off in front of a distinctly unfazed Parkie, who merely reminded ‘Reed gently that, as this was radio, such a provocation would be entirely lost on listeners.’
Perhaps no clip has seen more eye time this week than the magisterial exchange between Parkinson, the son of a miner, and Kenneth Williams, tussling over the merits of strike action in 1973. We will not resist the urge to share it further, since Parkinson’s straight-forward counter to Williams’ sophistry, remains a wonder to behold, no less so in the company of mildly amused Maggie Smith and John Betjeman.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FOv-XCWUck
All chat show hosts must contend with the fact that the surest sign of their art is those exchanges in which they say little or nothing at all, and in that vein we would have to opt for this beautiful, unimpeachable section featuring Buddy Rich, Roy Castle, Kenny Everett and a very special guest, showcasing the bewildering abundance of talents that entertainers were expected to perform way back when.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edJFA83CNpc
To be charming, but also a quiet foil for charm in others, is no mean feat, and for this we salute a departed titan.
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There we have it! Another edition in the can. Drop us a line at editorial@the-fence.com if you want to ask us anything, send us Issue 16 snaps, or pitch us your masterpiece – we’re all ears. Catch you next Tuesday.
All the best,
TF