Dear Readers,
Good morning, and welcome to Off The Fence – a strutting tyro of a newsletter.
We’re with you on a Wednesday morning as we spent all of yesterday finalising the upcoming Issue 26, which needs to be seen, read and held in your hands to be fully appreciated. It’s been a whole year in the making, and we cannot wait to tell you more about it.
With the dawn of the new issue comes a tough decision on the last one – which of you submitted the best snap of Issue 25 going out-and-about? In the last week, the magazine has appeared next to Sammy the Sepsis Cat in Evelina Children’s Hospital; fluttering, dog-eared, atop the Great Zimbabwe Monument; through the hidden alleys underneath Somerset House; and standing out from the crowd on the shelves of Shreeji Newsagents in Marylebone. The deadline is slamming shut soon; if you want some fizz on your Christmas dinner table, you know what to do. Send your pictures to editorial@the-fence.com, and the Bollinger could be yours.
Issue 26 will be the first to retail at £7.99, but should you want to commemorate the fading of the £7.50 era, head to our shop page, where you can still grab six of our back issues, including the latest edition, for the old price (the rest are sold out – hard cheese). Pair your new copy with the competition above, and it could be the best money you spend all week.
One exciting bit of news to remind you of is that The Fence is now being printed in the UK, in Southwark no less, which means that subscribers will get the magazine before it is in shops, which, in all seriousness, is an important thing to us, and yet another reason to sign up for a year of facts, features, fiction and jokes of dubious taste.
Etched onto the papyrus this week, we have a smattering of delights, but we kick off proceedings down Pall Mall.
The Ball Is Black
News from St James’: Justin Welby is attempting to rejoin his club, The Travellers, which he resigned from in 2014. Welby’s departure came as he was upset, or was allegedly upset, that the club refused to admit women into its hallowed halls. In the decade since, nothing has changed – women are still not allowed to be members. Yet Welby wants back into the boys’ treehouse. But according to our clubland spies, the membership committee at The Travellers won’t have the oilman-turned-evangelist back.
In any case, it’s the ideal occasion to revisit our extensive profile of the former Archbishop of Canterbury, which we published at the start of the year, and which still reads very well today.
You’re So Cool
Our book about the pub, entitled The Pub, is exactly where it should be, on GQ’s list of the ‘10 Coolest Things of the Week’, on the same page as Robyn’s new single and the launch of Call of Duty: Black Ops 7. As those immaculate style mavens at Condé Towers say, it ‘has stocking filler written all over it’, so do take advantage of Mr Bezos’ generous reductions if you’re looking to buy multiple copies for friends, colleagues or foes ahead of the Christmas rush.
We Are Nothing if Not Original
It is a delight to see The Pub being snapped at bookstores all over the country, and we were charmed by this snap of the tome at Palette in Somerset, an excellent store indeed.
But we couldn’t help but be reminded of two rare vinyl cuts that we shared in the first iterations of this newsletter, both of which record Nicholas Cage’s days as a resident of Somerset. Those of you who are familiar with the imperishable medley that is ‘Nicholas Cage Losing His Shit’ can be assured that these two videos are very much in the same grandiose vein, but this time spliced with a lo-fi West Country tinge. First up, Mr Coppola visits Bath Hospital, where he solemnly intones, ‘I love ‘em. I love all children. I love babies.’ The main event, though, is a shonky handheld video from 2009, where Cage turned on the Christmas lights in Bath, with the Hollywood star declaring, ‘Citizens of Somerset… I love you,’ as a local DJ tries to keep the show on the road. In every conceivable way, it’s one of the all-time greats.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH8lNzm9CxE
The Dulwich College Rifle Association
Can a magazine have friends? The evidence, at least the way we see it, suggests that it can. Anyway, two of The Fence’s greatest pals are Mark Blacklock and Henry Dyer, who have teamed up to publish an investigation into Nigel Farage’s schooldays, with a number of his peers making fresh claims that the Reform leader made a number of racist and antisemitic comments during his tenure at PG Wodehouse’s alma mater (Farage vociferously denies the allegations). Those of you who have commissioned, written and edited deep dives will note the number of people speaking on the record, and at length – a testament to Henry and Mark’s (and Daniel Boffey’s) skills.
Henry wrote two classic pieces for us in our salad days – one into which of Boris Johnson’s friends insisted on the COVID grouse shooting exemption, and the other into US Senator Josh Hawley’s gap year in Barnes; whereas Mark has hunted for Jeremy Beadle’s library in our pages and was the author of the most impactful investigation we’ve ever run – though his effort above is more vital still.
A Dead Man in Deptford
In the reconstituted Twittersphere, footage from this 1971 documentary has been doing the rounds as a record of a ‘lost London’, but Harry’s Out is really much more than a graveyard shift of nostalgia. Harry Haward is a south London ‘face’ and nightclub owner, who has just been released from Pentonville Prison back into the family bosom, to his young children and to his crotchety mother, who has come directly in a taxi straight from Central Casting:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGEO5X835oU
Now, the story of whatever happened to Cockney London is a tired question – it’s still very much there in situ in Eltham and Bermondsey – and there is still plenty of it in the East End, but lots of the ‘old community’, as it were, have now relocated out into Essex and Kent. What is more interesting is the story of Harry himself, whose Streatham nightclub, Cheeks, saw a visit from Marvin Gaye in his cocaine-laced last days. In his dotage, Haward set up a charity supporting lonely local pensioners, which is still operational today. We’re sure there’s a film in here somewhere (possibly starring Jim Broadbent?). But you should still give the film a watch.
Keeping Your End Up
In the 1980s and 90s, Spy magazine ran the Iron Man Decathlon, crowning New York’s most indefatigable male partygoer. The prize was awarded for such criteria as ‘bar tabs left’ and ‘dance moves busted’, and was won three times by Anthony Haden-Guest, who is still with us (and active on Instagram) at the age of 88. There have been various doomed attempts to revive the prize over the years, as bad behaviour is not that amusing in the age of the iPhone.
But we reckon that the Iron Man Decathlon could be refashioned into something more fitting to the present day – the Freeloader Olympiad, in which boulevardiers are ranked for the most freebies scored, and the shamelessness with which they claim them. Do you know someone who should be in the running? Do you know a hack who never pays their bill? Have you ever had to put up with a social media influencer of middling rank who comes equipped with Celine Dion-style demands? All tips to editorial@the-fence.com and let’s make some magic happen.
Busting Down the Door
One of the best sports documentaries of recent vintage is now available to enjoy on YouTube. Kissed by God follows the life of Andy Irons, a preternaturally talented surfer of extraordinary beauty who lived on the North Shore of Hawaii, and was loved by a gorgeous woman, but whose life was a slow-moving car crash as he struggled with bipolar disorder. It’s also one of the best cinematic portrayals of the horrors of the opioid crisis in the US. Given his family’s involvement in the production, you will forgive the odd hagiographic touch here and there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn9zW7yUamw
In Case You Missed It
An introduction to extratone, the world’s fastest music genre.
Has 2025 been the stupidest year in human history? A highly persuasive listicle from the editors at New York magazine.
What does Rama Duwaji’s activism mean?
A throwback: a genuinely funny tweet.
Middle-aged men rapping about premier cru Burgundy for short-form video content? It’s actually not bad.
The Telegraph’s best books of the year – an excellent assemblage, not least because there are 12 subscribers to this very publication on the list.
Antonia Hitchens profiles Laura Loomer.
Zadie Smith lays down vocals with Dev Hynes.
And Finally
Winter is here, and we are all in need of some mental as well as physical warming; something to curl up in front of. There are many strong candidates but one of our absolute favourite genres is anything to do with the great outdoors. And if you’ve begun to tire of Mr Attenborough’s stranglehold on the television offerings of this genre, perhaps you should turn to a modern titan of the ‘tube.
His name is Luke Nichols and his channel is Outdoor Boys. His videos are a brilliant blend of some genuinely sketchy survival situations, navigated by a man with the calmest of demeanours. Titles such as ‘Winter Storms Crush My Off-Grid Homestead’ and ‘22 Miles in a blizzard without a tent’ belie the calming nature of Nichols’ content. Nothing is ever a catastrophe or a shit show, simply a problem, easily navigated by some serious survival skills. The most satisfying of these is his predilection for going into freezing cold places without a tent, and instead building ice shelters that just scratch that itch for the wilderness the modern urban human only experiences when departing a nightclub in Camberwell at 4am, or when listening to a damn good Stan Rogers shanty.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcDFgir_jgY
It isn’t high-octane (for that, check out Fishin’ Garrett), but neither is winter in London, and nothing will make you feel warmer than watching a man considerably colder than yourself. So who is this intrepid adventurer? Well, there isn’t too much info floating in the internet soup, other than the fact that the man used to be a traffic lawyer in north Virginia which goes some way to explaining his desire to run as far away from human civilisation as physically possible. Beyond that, the most we know is that, as of quite recently, he has decided to step away from making videos, possibly permanently, as his internet fame has begun to become a difficulty. But there is an incredible store of videos to see you through the winter months.
Is there more to know about the man? Do we want to dig deeply into the personal view and opinions of a passionate Alaskan outdoorsman who was a student at a Mormon university and a missionary to Japan for the same creed? Our harrowing experience with GeoWizard tells us: no. As of yet, there’s nothing explicit to cause concern, and the 4K views are too sumptuous to pass up. Below is the first of the last few videos the channel will produce, unless Luke decides to reverse his retirement. We’re heating up our cocoa.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93zzKz-2PZU
There we have it. Any pitches are to be sent to editorial@the-fence.com and any other questions to support@the-fence.com, and we’ll be back next Tuesday – only six days to wait. To date, there has only been one English Pope, Nicholas Breakspear, or as he is known in the Papal See, ‘Adrian IV’. We prefer the name Nicholas. No hard feelings to the Adrians out there. Until the next time.
All the best,
TF