Dear Readers,
Hello once again, and welcome back to the penultimate Off The Fence before the Christmas break – although, we hasten to add, not the final edition of the year. More on that later (or rather, later this week). We’ll keep it brief, in the expectation that you’re getting your final raft of work emails right now, and are dreaming of the day where your phone stops dinging with gift guides and meeting requests for the start of next year.
We are now one week out from the launch of Issue 18, the Coming of Age issue: our very best effort in four years of print publishing. And we’ve been delighted to see our subscribers and contributors cavorting with their copies. Katie Anne Tobin brought her issue into the offices of the London Magazine, specifically to present our Journo Height Graph to an 6ft 6 ‘literary man’ who did not qualify for selection. Long-time contributor and friend Josh Mcloughlin flashed his copy alongside a very fine cat, which is a route-one way to our heart – please, if you have a cat, show them our magazine, it’s their approval that we’re chasing above all others.
Importantly, we are trying to reach 1,000 new subscribers for the year – we’re now up to 912 and close to summiting our goal. If you’ve been enjoying what we do, and you’d like to see more, then please do sign up.
Make yourself happy with magazines
If you have already joined us, and you’re a fan of our work, then please do share our appeal at the link below – we blew all the marketing budget for the next six months sucking up to middle-aged journalists in a pub last week. There have been some very generous quote tweets so far, and with your help, we can smash the target.
To business! On the slate this week, we have Foreign Office largesse, some kawaii cosplay, and a little bit of Barrymore. But first, a present and a challenge for you all.
Stepping Into Christmas
As a little treat for our subscribers this Christmas, The Fence has compiled a festive playlist with a twist. There is a festive theme to this carefully curated collation of stone cold bangers. Your task is to tell us what the festive link is.
The first person to guess what the Christmassy link is will win a lifetime subscription and a stocking full of seasonal good wishes. Happy listening!
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2bhUOVscvIKbOP3xy918Aa
Itadakimasu, Bish-san
For Issue 18, we were delighted to send Streatham’s premier Japanophile, Joe Bishop, to the newly-opened Usagi Anime Maid Cafe for an unflinching confrontation with his psyche. It’s a hilarious piece; a wade into the world of lurid sodas, fawning service and awkward polaroids (like the one you see below) – read it right here.
Trawling the Megahertz
We were delighted to be welcomed into Monocle HQ last week, for a chat with the delightfully charming Fernando Augusto Pacheco, host of Monocle Radio’s ‘The Stack’, about the work behind Issue 18. If you’d like to hear our deputy editor, Kieran Morris, talk about Banville, Dyer, Soho pubs and Steven Gerrard, you can find the episode right here.
The Ghost of Beastmas Past
The Fence is in receipt of rumours that Dave, Lord Cameron is already dispensing Foreign Office favours to old friends. As part of his recent trip to the Middle East, the foreign secretary was allowed to bring along a brace of journos as part of his entourage. Which up and coming politically incisive young thing did DC apparently choose to take with him? None other than The Spectator’s wine critic, Bruce ‘The Beast’ Anderson.
How the logistics of manoeuvring a man who no longer wears shoes properly onto a plane worked, was a matter for our Rolls Royce civil service. However we do look forward to Bruce’s write up of the merits of Emirati Pinot Noirs in his next column.
Compromised to a Permanent End
A note of praise for our features editor, Séamas O’Reilly, who in an ever-extending quest to make the approach of Santa’s sleigh more immersive and beguiling for his young charges, has mocked up this. That’s right, a world-exclusive unmasking of Saint Nick’s multi-level arctic fortress, replete with Christmas Cheer caches, secret exits guarded by polar bears, and underground bakeries for the production of mince pies and gingerbread men. We can only hope that this is the Christmas where this global menace is brought to justice by SEAL Team Six.
In Case You Missed It
Martin Amis remembered by Fence contributor - and novelist - John Banville
Claudia Rowan hangs out with a bunch of lonely women
Bring back shit Christmas songs!
Simon Hattenstone assembles this beautiful tribute to the late comedy goddess Caroline Aherne, from those who knew her best.
Ed Caesar packs his lofty frame into the world of hypercars and talks to those with a need for speed.
Rolling Stone collates Elon Musk’s Worst Jokes of 2023 and we’ve read them, so now must you.
And Finally
Beyond the twenty songs we’ve compiled above, there’s only one more Christmas track we’ll be spinning on repeat all Yuletide long. You might’ve guessed it already – we expect you’re already doing the same – but for the uninitiated, it is, of course, this: Michael Barrymore’s lolloping cover of ‘Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)’.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4whV7hnbR-0
Performed with all the gusto that made him the King of Light Entertainment (until an unfortunate fall from grace shortly after; the details of which we do not fully understand), Barrymore swaggers into the Backstreet Boys classic, simultaneously embodying all five members at once. Stick this on at your Christmas do and you’ll be cleaning up the dancefloor like the site of a pool party that has very suddenly gone awry.
And there you have it, hopefully the last newsletter you read in your office this year. A quick note to anyone awaiting their Issue 18, or anyone who just fancies a chat: drop us a line at subscriptions@the-fence.com with any delivery queries and we’ll endeavour to resolve them. In the meantime, have a wonderful week, and we’ll catch you again this Friday.
All the best,
TF