Dear Readers,
Good afternoon, and welcome to Off The Fence: Britain’s Only Newsletter. There are a lot of exciting updates to share with you this Sunday. Henry Jeffreys is back with a second dollop of advice for impecunious wine-buffs. As we have mentioned in previous outings, we are providing more serious, in-depth reportage from London and beyond. Today, we are proud to share with you our first long read, about Brampton Manor, the school that can’t stay out of the headlines.
A quick reminder: there are only 45 copies of Issue 9 remaining. We will be sold out by Wednesday at the latest: so move fast to secure your copy of what has proved to be the most popular print iteration thus far.
Those Glittering Prizes
On Friday, we published Francis Martin’s investigation into Brampton Manor Academy, the Newham state school that now receives more Oxbridge offers than Eton, and has been celebrated by the Prime Minister himself as a plum example of ‘levelling up’. The school has been lionised in the media for its no-nonsense approach to discipline: pupils are given detentions for wearing the wrong-coloured coat or exiting a room by the wrong door. But troubling rumours at the school have long been whispered, but never reported, for reasons that are hinted at within the piece.
Speaking to ten former members of staff, and also to a number of former students, Francis relays appalling episodes of staff bullying and allegations of further malpractice. His full investigation is available to read here, and acts as a superb explainer of the current educational ecosystem in this country, and how schools like Brampton are able to ‘juice’ said system.
Over the weekend, we have been deluged with messages from former members of staff, and also with emails from former and current students. We’ve been very moved by the reception to the piece. So, please, do read the article, and share it online. And you should also follow Francis on Twitter here.
Light Me Up
From Monday, we will be opening pitches again to pitches for Issue 11 and beyond. There’s going to be more granular detail about what we’re looking for, so do keep your eyes peeled for that announcement tomorrow, and do, please, send all emails through to editorial@the-fence.com. We look forward to hearing from you in due course.
Noble Rot
Henry Jeffreys, the master of malt and unheralded plonk, returns with some wise words and a sharp deal for all you would-be wine bores.
My kind of wine merchant is not the sort of person who sports skinny jeans and a T-shirt featuring the names of cult Beaujolais producers. I’m afraid that I’m more drawn to merchants who wear tweed or red trousers or best of all, those blue-cotton jackets that French peasants stopped wearing years ago and are now only worn by English wine merchants or retired lawyers in Kent with a passion for fixing sash windows.
In the blue-cotton camp is Yapp Bros in the West Country, specialising in the Rhone and the Loire. While in the tweed corner you’ll find Tanners in the Midlands, particularly strong on Portugal and Bordeaux. Then there’s the Wine Society, a members’ club which only costs £40 to join. They have prices so good that if I was an independent wine merchant I’d simply just give up.
Most experts will tell you that only the very best wines improve with age. This is nonsense. Even quite ordinary wines can mature. I’ve tasted old bottles of Jacob’s Creek Riesling from the corner shop that had gone positively opulent sitting gathering dust on the shelves. Every now and then, I do a sweep of the wines that my father has forgotten about in the garage, and we’ll find that some cheapish red from Rioja or the Languedoc has matured with the grace of decent Burgundy.
Take my advice and you’ll find that you don’t need a lot of money to play the connoisseur. As long as you’re buying from a good merchant then sturdy reds like Bordeaux, Chianti or Barossa shiraz, NV Champagne, Riesling of all sorts, better chardonnays from Chile, Argentina and Australia will all improve with a couple of years in your makeshift cellar. Even rosé tastes better the following year. Buy Provence rosé when it’s on sale in the autumn, keep it somewhere dark and by June you’ll be sipping the nectar of the gods.
But the ultimate bargain keeper has to be LBV (late bottled vintage) Port. I had a bottle of 2003 Taylor’s LBV not long ago that would have put many proper vintage ports to shame. You can pick it up for £12 a bottle. Buy a case, put it away, and you’ll be richly rewarded in five years’ time.
Think of it this way: foreign travel might be nearly impossible, your fuel bills are about to go through the roof, but you can still do as our ancestors did and get a bit of southern warmth through the magic of fortified wine. In fact, can you afford not to start a cellar now?
And I’ve done some work to help you on your way. An unashamed sporter of the blue-cotton French peasant jacket is Jason Yapp, who runs Yapp Bros in Wiltshire with his stepbrother Tom Ashworth. He has put together a six-bottle case of some of my favourite wines, knocked some money off, and thrown in free delivery to UK mainland customers. £75 all in, exclusive to TF readers, which works out at an inflation-busting £12.50 a bottle.
The case is a lesson in canny hunting outside of famous areas. So from the Rhone there’s a fine apricot-scented viognier, a grape that makes mortgage-adjusting wines further north in Condrieu. From the same producer, Vignerons Ardéchois there’s red, a floral Syrah wine for lovers of Cote Rotie. Staying in the region, there’s a Côtes du Rhône, but this is no ordinary Côtes du Rhône, this is Côtes du Rhône Mon Coeur from J.L Chave, the chap behind some of the most celebrated wines in Hermitage. Worth hanging onto for a few years if you can wait. Heading south, Jason has included the Magali Saint Chinian 2015 from Château Milhau-Lac, a burly Languedoc red which has matured into something mellow and herb-scented. Staying in that part of the world, Jason has recommended an unusually delicious rosé. Made entirely from cabernet franc, the Garriguette from Domaine Girard is altogether more perfumed than the often rather samey pinks of Provence. And finally, to round off the case, a delightfully crisp and appley Saumur Blanc which is 100% chenin blanc.
To pick up a case, just dial 01747 860423, say the password, ‘The Fence’: Jason has installed extra telephone lines at Yapp’s Mere HQ to deal with the expected volume of calls. Or you can email sales@yapp.co.uk and repeat the same password. But he advises to order early, so your case doesn’t fall victim to the haulage crisis that we’ve been reading so much about.
Derry’s Finest
Our features editor, Séamas O’Reilly, has won the An Post Award for the Best Irish Biography of the Year. Now, he’s up for the Best Irish Book of the Year, and is going up against some little known names such as Fintan O’Toole and Sally Rooney.
His book, Did Ye Hear Mammy Died, is the first thigh-slappingly funny memoir about child bereavement, and is richly deserving of your vote in this public poll, which you can act upon right here.
The Worst Bar in London?
In a grave piece of reportage, we sent Fergus Butler-Gallie to Janet’s Bar in South Kensington, an establishment that has scored some awful, hilarious reviews on TripAdvisor. His dispatch is now available online, and is especially recommended if you need some much-need laughs on this bone-chillingly cold Sunday.
A Highland Fling
Every issue, we carry a short story by an author on the brink of great things. This time out, we have a piece by Cathy Thomas, which takes place in Scotland’s Western Isles. It’s a brilliant, brutal piece of fiction, and we’re delighted to publish it.
Do bear in mind that we can only continue with this commercially insensible range of writing if we have sufficient subscribers, so please do sign up on the dotted line if you’re yet to do so.
In Case You Missed It
Ailbhe Rea speaks out about the unwanted advances of Stanley Johnson, and why she chose to speak out about it.
Trying to separate fact from fiction, Michael Hobbes digs into the tale that ends Dave Chapelle's controversial Netflix special The Closer.
Catherine Rentz tells the harrowing story of her quest to test decades' worth of untested rape kits.
Comedian Chris Fleming diagnoses the manic nerd energy of Joseph Rogan.
Anjali Joseph gets to grips with Flaubert and reflects on the impossibility of re-reading.
Trying to avoid the heavy hand of the metaverse, Kaitlyn Tiffany made the world's blandest Facebook profile, but still found it transported her to places she did not expect.
And Finally
So, after 70 years of sprinkling his genius on the world, Stephen Sondheim is dead. Some wags reckon that you need to go back to April 23, 1616, to find a date that ranks as a weightier loss to theatre (a slight exercise in hyperbole, to our minds).
But still: to find a writer sprightly and wry and relevant in his tenth decade is quite something. And by some distance, Stephen Colbert is the most charming late-night TV talk-show host. If you want a six-minute primer on why Sondheim matters, on the gravity of his influence and breadth of his appeal, then do watch this truly moving interview between Colbert and Sondheim, recorded just two months ago.
*
That’s your lot for this week. Right now, it’s silly season for terrifying headlines, so we will be redoubling our efforts to provide some comic relief from these troubling times. In the meantime, if you’d like to talk to a member of the editorial team, then you can do so by replying to this email. And please do subscribe at the link below, if you value what we’re doing. Enjoy the rest of Sunday, and we will be with you again soon.
All the best,
TF
We are also delighted to offer a subscription service. For £25 you will receive all four copies of the magazine per year, delivered to your door.
