Dear Readers,
We’re with you on a Saturday evening, which will happen from time to time. The thrifty archivists among you will be delighted to learn that we are currently running an end of summer sale for a limited time only: you pick up some paginated jewels here. All back issues are at half-price, which means they cost £3 only, which is really not much at all for a beautiful magazine.
To business: we have a small tribute to Charlie Watts, some links about a certain Portuguese footballer, but first, some intel on what’s happening in Afghanistan.
Woof, Woof
In news to put satirists out of business, the drama between Pen Farthing, the Ministry of Defence and Ricky Gervais reaches its conclusion this evening: the dogs and cats are being evacuated from Kabul; the Afghan staff are not. Cue a passive-aggressive tweet from the MoD press office which has upset Farthing’s many, many supporters, who he has cajoled into righteous anger through masterful use of social media.
There have been reports that Carrie Johnson, the Prime Minister’s wife, lobbied her husband to overrule the Secretary of State for Defence and guarantee that the rescue animals of Nowzad charity could escape on a chartered plane. While this has been denied through official channels, The Fence hears that the substance of that allegation is largely true. According to our sources, ‘Operation Ark’ was even discussed during a COBRA meeting this week.
With MPs like Tom Tugendhat lobbying to save UK nationals and Afghan interpreters from being taken hostage or worse, Farthing’s conduct has enraged his former senior colleagues in the military: it seems we will find out exactly who made this controversial airlift possible in due course.
Such Were The Joys
Known for their piety, bravery and public executions, the Taliban have also shown that there’s a carefree side to militant Islamism. Here they are enjoying the dodgems. Here’s a video of some of the lads goofing around in a gym. And here they’re jumping about on a trampoline, giddy with raw pleasure. With all this powerfully surreal footage floating around on the internet, we do hope it won’t put Adam Curtis out of a job.
Classic Banter
Max Norman is one of the most interesting young critics on the circuit, so we were very pleased to have him write a whole feature in Issue 8. That article is now online for you all to read and enjoy, and explores the Roman attitude towards jokes, the sweeping expanse of the Latin language and why comedy doesn’t keep as well as tragedy. It’s the sort of elegant piece that we love to commission, and it’s accompanied with some cheeky centurions drawn by Gabriel Carr. Do have a read.
Put Him on The Wing
Cristiano Ronaldo has returned ‘home’ to Manchester United, the club he joined from Sporting CP in 2003. The Portuguese footballer is one of the most famous people on the planet, and has earned over a billion dollars already in his lifetime. But a woman from Las Vegas called Kathryn Mayorga alleges that he raped her in 2009. In this investigation from Der Spiegel, which makes for tough reading, you can read how his formidable legal team silenced her. It’s also worth mentioning that Ronaldo was arrested and questioned by the Metropolitan Police in 2005 on suspicion of the same crime. Two American academics wrote a brilliant polemic in which they state that ‘Ronaldo is an icon of corruption in sports.’ Will such forceful language be deployed by the tireless British press now that ‘CR7’ is back on these shores? We will wait to find out.
With a Little Bit of Luck
Last week, we asked our Twitter followers (who are quite a media-centric bunch) how much they spend on print magazines, newsletters and all the rest of it. Over 21 percent of correspondents admit to spending nothing every month, which we found a little bit troubling.
There are a few reasons why some British people expect journalism to be free, and that does mean this country has a comparatively less exciting media ecosystem than you do, say, in America. But we won’t fire up that cauldron this time out. Revenue from subscriptions remains our only significant source of income, so please do buy one if you’ve been enjoying our work here and online.
Agra-on-Thames
In the 1980s, there was an Indian restaurant in East Putney called Memsahib which used provocative advertisements in the Guardian to try and drum up trade. Sejal Sukhadwala remembered visiting the place with her family, and was intrigued by what became of the place. She spent a month researching through various libraries to find traces of this restaurant with a curiously unique marketing policy, and the resulting dispatch offers a moving commentary on Thatcherite Britain and the evanescence of life in the pre-internet era. The piece was popular with our subscribers, with a booming reception when we published it earlier this week, so do tuck in if you have the time.
Charlie Is My Darling
The drummer for the Stones was a jazzer rather than a rocker, that much we all know. And he was pretty keen on suits, too. He collected classic cars (but couldn’t drive them) and set up a horse stud with his wife. A huge cricket fan, he would go and watch matches with Mick Jagger. But Charlie Watts had yet another vaulting passion: he was mad keen for rare Indian textiles. Indeed, he was the leading customer at a specialist textile shop in London, where he charmed the staff when he made his regular, discreet visits. Truly, a man of wealth and taste.
In Case You Missed It
Imogen West-Knights tackles the onset of Treat Brain for our pandemic-scrambled brains.
Thomas Gorton reflects on the structural integrity of memory and the struggle to go home again.
Ellen Scott steps once more into the breach to interview the man who sends her wedgie pics.
We humbly submit that this brain-bending assault on the rubric of the modern web, and of every nerve fibre in your body, should get a Pulitzer Prize.
Hussein Kesvani talks to Very Fine Day about online communities and the frustrations of web reporting in a far ranging and illuminating interview.
Researchers in Sao Paolo drop the deets on a the slickest pterosaur you will see today.
And Finally
In one of the most fascinating projects we’ve encountered for some time, the campaigner Guy Shrubsole is using social media to map the lost rainforests of Britain. That may sound mad, but it’s actually real science: the Celtic rainforests used to stretch throughout Ireland, Wales, and from the West Country up to Scotland. There are little patches remaining everywhere, like Wistman’s Wood in Devon, and Puzzlewood in the Forest of Dean, and a troop of online volunteers are adding to the list everyday via Google Forms. Even in a country as congested as Britain, there are still secret spaces to be savoured.
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That’s the lot for this Bank Holiday weekend. If you would like to get in touch with us, you can do so by replying to this email, and if you would like to support the magazine, there is a link just below. We hope all is well with you, and we will join you again in six days’ time.
All the best,
TF
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