Pretends to be above it all in a tediously predictable manner.
A remainer, but a spectacularly unhelpful one.
Can’t get over the fact that Branwell voted leave.
Irritated by how much time he spends following the action on Twitter.
Refers to the whole thing as ‘the strange-eyed spectacle on Little Britain Street’ and is unsurprisingly very pleased with his little meta-textual pun.
With Decca now national convener for Momentum, and Diana a special correspondent for Fox News, she’s certainly no shortage of material.
Starting to get very hacked off with Andrew Marvell posting political memes in the lads WhatsApp group.
Still trying to sell the details of his affair with Annunziata Rees-Mogg to the Daily Mail.
Finds the Trump/ Brexit analogies inexcusably facile.
Re-mortgaged Abbotsford to finance the Rory Stewart campaign.
Triumphant leaver. Jeers whenever Simon Schama appears on the TV.
He writes that he enjoys the ‘spectacle of despoiled Britannia burning from afar’. In reality he has a big wedge invested with Odey Asset Management.
Eccentric remainiac patriarch. Toddles off to the local newsagent to photocopy Marina Hyde articles, which he then posts to his children.
Voted to stay in Europe, but understands why the majority did not.
His line about ‘pondering what Lancelot Andrews would have made it of all’ is beginning to run thin.
Bored by Channel 4 producers asking him to make a documentary about his childhood in the Brexit heartlands of Lincolnshire.
Currently re-writing The Dunciad.
Amused by the whole thing, but depressed by the commentary accompanying it.
True to contrarian form, a voluble remainer.
Fallen out with Amis owing to the above.
Has learned to modify his views when he comes down from Coxwold.
Militantly remain, but friends scoff at her claim that she’s never met a leaver.
Finds the whole charade deeply trivial. Currently engrossed by the winter series of Love Island.
Making a fortune with his series of glittering op-eds for the New York Times.
Dinner party dominating remainer. Keeps pestering Fintan O’ Toole if he would like to be put up for the Garrick.
Fanatical no-dealer; totally opposed to any negotiations in any form with the Republic of Ireland.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning #FBPE #Peoples Vote &/or #Revoke Article 50 🕷️ has never been one for concession.
Deeply humiliated that Daniel Kawczynski is sponsoring his Settled Status papers.
Still, despite the plaintive pleas of his friends and family, completely and utterly obsessed with Anna Soubry.
Didn’t vote three-and-a-half years ago, now dead.
Illustrations by Dylan Jones.